Thank you for baring your soul on the page and the screen so that we can be nudged in the direction of new thought. I am, now, at the fresh, open eagerness to practice you spoke about, not through the TM I learned, but because of the meditation challenge on your podcast. While following your gentle, stepped guidance I felt for the first time a hopefulness that the practice could give me the comfort I so desperately need. The episodes won't play now, and being only half way through the series, I'm completely bummed about it. Will you upload the meditation series elsewhere? Thanks for being you, Reiman.
Thank you Melissa. I've been working on transferring all old podcast episodes from an old podcast hosting platform to Substack, and unfortunately there have been issues. I'm following up with both sites and trying to resolve them ASAP. Worst case scenario, I did share a very similar guided meditation series on Instagram; the only drawback is lower audio quality.
I went from, "Wow, I really like this" to "OMG, I FUCKING LOVE THIS!" Now sure what led me to this post exactly, synchronicity I suppose... but it's ironic: a lot of things I have mentioned are echoed here... yet you wrote it so long ago?
I could have written a novel in response, and I almost did. But the universe (and I) decided to keep it simple: THIS is where it's at.
Thank you for being the guy that feels the need to write. I love the authenticity you put into your writing, and I love reading about your spiritual journey. I am already looking forward to the next one!
Just read this through - some thoughts if you are reading comments today...
I know about these things first hand. I know deep things first hand, but I can't really say more publicly.
The contradiction I can't see past, which is inherent in your very act of writing, in your learning, in your deciding no more teachers are needed and being is enough - in all of these notions and motions of the self, there is a seeking for wholeness and harmony with what Is. Forgive me if I'm not striking the correct notes here, but let me get to my point: if being is enough, and God (as you describe this concept "God") is more or less indifferent to our participation in his truth or will or existence or being, then isn't any experience of transformation just another illusion?
You touched on this with the Neo/Matrix mention. The Cartesian desperation. The grasping for the real, and the finger pointing back at you offering an answer, but this too is unclear in meaning.
As I contemplate Eastern and indigenous spiritualities from the Americas, all I see is a path to nothingness. The desire even to write and share as you have so carefully here - none of it fits with the teaching from this Aya you walked with.
But, if we have a Creator who is personal, imminent, and caring toward humans, all of it makes sense and fits together, and we have a purpose for seeking, loving, living, communicating, and all of it. But, the cost of turning in this direction with the spirit and soul is the *true* ego death. The true "I am unable to assign the simplest reality or meaning to myself and the cosmos; I have been assigned a reality and meaning, and I either accept it and move into harmony with God, or I reject it and embrace the disintegration of the most precious part of me."
Would be open and happy to hear your thoughts in reply.
Thanks for your comment. I'd agree that any experience of transformation is illusion, if being is enough. The desire to write and share doesn't fit with embodying Aya consciousness, maybe, but I'm not trying to fit with any perfect embodiment of the teaching. I'm being human. I do like the picture you paint of a personal creator who has assigned us reality / meaning, but I guess I view the truth as hanging in the balance of that determinism and our self-created meaning, or existentialism.
I feel God, as well as our soul, is beyond our comprehension. So there's something beyond the ego's comprehension to surrender to, but being human means making up meaning and existing in-between the harmony of surrendering and the rejection of God, which you present as a dichotomy. I don't believe any human could fully choose one or the other, perfect embodiment of God's will or total abandonment of the creator, if he tried.
That was thoughtful; thank you for replying with care. I really enjoy talking with people who care to explore truth.
I think we westerners have a good heritage, spiritually and intellectually. We have formal logic, dichotomies, a sense of telos, and a marriage of love of neighbor with concern for his soul. In eastern spirituality, broadly speaking, there is a pervasive nihilism with which they try to live at peace, since there is no other with whom or with which to relate. It just... is.
And that's sexy. To any human, the desire to just surrender to fate/nothingness seems peaceful - why fight for an illusory sense of ego/self/purpose when we can know nothing objective of the sort...
But... you speak of being human. In the West, we have this heritage of assigned dignity to our individual persons. We, I, you are made with love. Love... has definition because love... is a Being first of all. Not an unknowable being (as in Islam), not a cruel revolutionary who is never at rest (as in Luciferianism), but a Being who is knowable in the sufficient sense, certainly not exhaustively (as you said, God and our soul are beyond our comprehension - yes and correctly stated).
So, this Western mindset we cannot help inhabiting and exercising is a blessing. We are driven to explore, to know, to love, and to assign purpose to the details of the cosmos. And this is right, for a true God has spoken into our human experience. It's so hard to see the purity and innocent joy of this through the various lenses of Christianity, but it is true, and it is discoverable.
Have you read much from C.S. Lewis, such as *The Space Trilogy* or *The Great Divorce*? Both are stories wrapped in delicious imagery, which press open the doors of perception.
Hey, my name is Gretchen, and I found you on the Survivor TV show! I really enjoy your personality and insights! I wish I was a world traveler like you! Thank you for starting this fun blog!
Thank you for baring your soul on the page and the screen so that we can be nudged in the direction of new thought. I am, now, at the fresh, open eagerness to practice you spoke about, not through the TM I learned, but because of the meditation challenge on your podcast. While following your gentle, stepped guidance I felt for the first time a hopefulness that the practice could give me the comfort I so desperately need. The episodes won't play now, and being only half way through the series, I'm completely bummed about it. Will you upload the meditation series elsewhere? Thanks for being you, Reiman.
Thank you Melissa. I've been working on transferring all old podcast episodes from an old podcast hosting platform to Substack, and unfortunately there have been issues. I'm following up with both sites and trying to resolve them ASAP. Worst case scenario, I did share a very similar guided meditation series on Instagram; the only drawback is lower audio quality.
For anyone seeing this, all Redeeming Disorder episodes (and guided meditations) will now play smoothly on the apps.
I went from, "Wow, I really like this" to "OMG, I FUCKING LOVE THIS!" Now sure what led me to this post exactly, synchronicity I suppose... but it's ironic: a lot of things I have mentioned are echoed here... yet you wrote it so long ago?
I could have written a novel in response, and I almost did. But the universe (and I) decided to keep it simple: THIS is where it's at.
Hah thanks Katherine (for writing these resonant words in lieu of the novel haha)
Yeah, >3 years ago... my perspective is ever-evolving.
Thank you for stepping up and sharing your views even though it's hard when some people disagree!
Thank you for being the guy that feels the need to write. I love the authenticity you put into your writing, and I love reading about your spiritual journey. I am already looking forward to the next one!
Just read this through - some thoughts if you are reading comments today...
I know about these things first hand. I know deep things first hand, but I can't really say more publicly.
The contradiction I can't see past, which is inherent in your very act of writing, in your learning, in your deciding no more teachers are needed and being is enough - in all of these notions and motions of the self, there is a seeking for wholeness and harmony with what Is. Forgive me if I'm not striking the correct notes here, but let me get to my point: if being is enough, and God (as you describe this concept "God") is more or less indifferent to our participation in his truth or will or existence or being, then isn't any experience of transformation just another illusion?
You touched on this with the Neo/Matrix mention. The Cartesian desperation. The grasping for the real, and the finger pointing back at you offering an answer, but this too is unclear in meaning.
As I contemplate Eastern and indigenous spiritualities from the Americas, all I see is a path to nothingness. The desire even to write and share as you have so carefully here - none of it fits with the teaching from this Aya you walked with.
But, if we have a Creator who is personal, imminent, and caring toward humans, all of it makes sense and fits together, and we have a purpose for seeking, loving, living, communicating, and all of it. But, the cost of turning in this direction with the spirit and soul is the *true* ego death. The true "I am unable to assign the simplest reality or meaning to myself and the cosmos; I have been assigned a reality and meaning, and I either accept it and move into harmony with God, or I reject it and embrace the disintegration of the most precious part of me."
Would be open and happy to hear your thoughts in reply.
Thanks for your comment. I'd agree that any experience of transformation is illusion, if being is enough. The desire to write and share doesn't fit with embodying Aya consciousness, maybe, but I'm not trying to fit with any perfect embodiment of the teaching. I'm being human. I do like the picture you paint of a personal creator who has assigned us reality / meaning, but I guess I view the truth as hanging in the balance of that determinism and our self-created meaning, or existentialism.
I feel God, as well as our soul, is beyond our comprehension. So there's something beyond the ego's comprehension to surrender to, but being human means making up meaning and existing in-between the harmony of surrendering and the rejection of God, which you present as a dichotomy. I don't believe any human could fully choose one or the other, perfect embodiment of God's will or total abandonment of the creator, if he tried.
That was thoughtful; thank you for replying with care. I really enjoy talking with people who care to explore truth.
I think we westerners have a good heritage, spiritually and intellectually. We have formal logic, dichotomies, a sense of telos, and a marriage of love of neighbor with concern for his soul. In eastern spirituality, broadly speaking, there is a pervasive nihilism with which they try to live at peace, since there is no other with whom or with which to relate. It just... is.
And that's sexy. To any human, the desire to just surrender to fate/nothingness seems peaceful - why fight for an illusory sense of ego/self/purpose when we can know nothing objective of the sort...
But... you speak of being human. In the West, we have this heritage of assigned dignity to our individual persons. We, I, you are made with love. Love... has definition because love... is a Being first of all. Not an unknowable being (as in Islam), not a cruel revolutionary who is never at rest (as in Luciferianism), but a Being who is knowable in the sufficient sense, certainly not exhaustively (as you said, God and our soul are beyond our comprehension - yes and correctly stated).
So, this Western mindset we cannot help inhabiting and exercising is a blessing. We are driven to explore, to know, to love, and to assign purpose to the details of the cosmos. And this is right, for a true God has spoken into our human experience. It's so hard to see the purity and innocent joy of this through the various lenses of Christianity, but it is true, and it is discoverable.
Have you read much from C.S. Lewis, such as *The Space Trilogy* or *The Great Divorce*? Both are stories wrapped in delicious imagery, which press open the doors of perception.
Love and peace from America,
J. Adam
Hey, my name is Gretchen, and I found you on the Survivor TV show! I really enjoy your personality and insights! I wish I was a world traveler like you! Thank you for starting this fun blog!